me talk pretty one day

this week in pictures ...

2006-07-22T10:00:00.000-04:00

although the "baby with adult arm" picture almost won my vote, this one just has to win. too funny.

how effin' dangerous do i look?

2006-07-12T08:08:00.000-04:00

do you see a difference?

2006-07-04T13:54:00.000-04:00

i don't see a difference ...

in other news ...

2006-06-27T22:53:00.000-04:00

fucking phenomenal = last night

Keane concert ... at the MOD

i'm left speechless (if you can believe it)

some pics of pride

2006-06-27T22:26:00.000-04:00

mood elevators

2006-06-23T00:20:00.000-04:00

i'd forgotten how much i enjoy learning new languages.

i was, i admit, in a relatively pissy mood all day.

it started off with me not feeling very well. with me tired. and, as a result, with me not going to the gym, as planned.

it went downhill from there.

it was so much better than it could have been, only because of the fantastic people with whom i work.

but on the way to Spanish class this evening, i was just not in the mood for anything.

an hour-and-a-half later, i was all smiles again.

No hablo ...

2006-06-15T00:21:00.000-04:00

after attending a breathtaking recital on Sunday evening with Christine, i came home more pumped than ever about my upcoming trip to Spain.

that's not to say it hasn't been at the forefront of my mind lately. i did, after all, book our flights a few weeks' past. i have, after all, been reading voraciously about the legend of the lone wanderer, who followed the "field of stars" for over 800km to discover the resting place St. James. i ventured, after all, into the unknown realm of the line of credit, so as to finance my 10 weeks away from home.

but Sunday; oh Sunday, how it left me in awe? it made real, it made painfully human the adventure that awaits.

the recital was performed by Oliver Schroer, a world-famous Canadian violinist and fiddler. he recently walked the Camino with both a violin and portable recording unit in his backpack. when he found himself in a church of God-like acoustics (an event, it would seem, that is quite common along the path to Santiago), he would pull out his violin (often wrapped in dirty underwear, i'm told), his recording unit, and play ... and compose along the way.

on his return to Canada, he edited, compiled and produced his recordings into a CD entitled "camino".

Sunday, in the acoustically-masterful St. George the Martyr, he performed the CD to a standing-room only crowd (from all walks of life), weaving his music together with tales of the pilgrim.

the entire audience was left, you could say, speechless. figuratively, he had us in the palm of his hand. more literally, he held us in the soul of his violin and his fable.

i arrived at work on Monday morning with the taste of fear and anticipation in my mouth. and i signed up for Spanish lessons.

my first class was last night.

it's been a very long time since i've learned a language from scratch. i'd forgotten how tiring it all is.

but, as they say, "el gucho es mio".

gawd, they're cute

2006-06-12T22:48:00.000-04:00

it's going to be a long summer ...

2006-05-29T23:43:00.000-04:00

it's far to friggin' hot outside for May 29.

there's algae at the bottom of my Brita (which was sitting on my counter all day).

lunch

2006-05-17T22:51:00.000-04:00

this afternoon, for the second time in a week, i spent a few hours in a fancy restaurant. not the same restaurant, mind you.

nice food. interesting conversation.

for the purpose of being interrogated. being interviewed.

but really, i just talked. and talked. until my food became cold. for the second time in a week.

after today's lunch, i'm left with a few observations:

1) in every interview i have, the Supreme Court of Canada's decision in Beals v. Saldanha randomly seems to arise in conversation

2) i don't like ordering appetizers at lunch

3) it's fun to bring up the fact that firms offer law clerks of the United States Supreme Court a U.S. $200,000 signing bonus

4) private practitioners seemingly have a difficult time believing that the Crown can write a consistently good factum

5) i really like, and would like to focus (in practice), on "conflict of laws"

6) i like to talk

7) the "dead rat in the 2d floor female judges' washroom" story evokes a lot of laughter

so, apparently i was home-schooled

2006-05-16T22:11:00.000-04:00

until this afternoon, i actually thought (and believed) that men had one less rib than women.

a follow-up

2006-05-16T00:32:00.000-04:00

awhile back, i complained about the lid offered by Starbucks [see 24 October 2005, "the peeve within the peeved"]

an 'anonymous' person responded with the following, inter alia:

"As further proof of the Utopia which is Australia, after extensive testing of take-away coffees I could not get a single drop from a single cup, despite ... (gently) attempting to get the coffee to spill."

i can now report that, despite their aversion to filtered coffee and cream, the lids offered by Starbucks in Australia are of the highest quality.

even i, who allegedly bounce with a walk amid frantic conversation with my hands, never experienced a mere drip.

that, and they've yet to advertise "akeelah and the bee".

in addition to their lack of pennies, these are all things to love about Australia.

too bad they don't understand constitutions, democracy and the right.

and the embers never fade ...

2006-05-15T23:33:00.000-04:00

i remember it well.

one afternoon, amid the crazy highschool cafeteria atmosphere, i sat eating my lunch with friends. the noise was always somewhat chaotic, everyone trying with all their might to have their teenage-existentialism heard.

on this particular day, the noise stopped. it all went silent, for just a few moments. for whatever reason, some 400 people stopped making any noise whatsoever. all at the very same time.

at the time, it was a tad creepy. made all the more drawn out by the reality that no one seemed to want to be the first to break the silence.

i have often thought back to that moment. i've questioned what actually happened to bring the entire cafeteria to a still. it's easy to simply call it a coincidence. but was it?

my very first microwave

2006-05-14T20:35:00.000-04:00

yes, it's true. i finally have a microwave.

(not that it's a new one, however. rather, my parents gave me the one that they have had for about 13 years).

i feel so modern. i feel so adult.

and a little hyped. in the last hour, i've had two bags of microwave popcorn and 3 mugs of hot cocoa. those are the only two things i ever really make in a microwave.

yippee!

"ghetto that"

2006-05-12T09:32:00.000-04:00

1) at Starbucks this morning, it took 2 minutes before i was even greeted and served (there was no queue; i was the only one there). i ordered the usual: grande bold, please. card was taken and swiped. balance was given. Barista went on to serve next customer, while i patiently waited for my coffee. next customer ordered 3 bar drinks, all of which *just had* to be entered and paid for individually. in between drink order/payment two and three, i asked about my coffee. i then received my coffee, complete with a snarky look. and without a sleeve. i asked for a sleeve. i was told: "get one yourself over there [by the cream and sugar]". there were no sleeves. i interupted the bar-drink Barista for a sleeve. he responded by taking a pile of them (all promoting "akeelah and the bee") and slamming (well, ok .. i recognise that sleeves don't *slam*, but you get the point) them on the bar-drink platform. when i went to add cream to my coffee, the area was a disgusting mess. and there was no cream. no whole milk. no skim milk. nothing.

2) after leaving Starbucks, i noticed a cute boy ahead of me (and walking in the same direction). i thought .. my day has just brightened. he was smiling. he had bounce in his step. and then he littered. he threw GARBAGE ON THE GROUND, WHILE HE WALKED PAST A BIN! the plastic wrap to his muffin started rolling in the wind across NPS. i was horrified. to me, he's worse than a pigeon.

thus, the phrase of the day is: "ghetto that"

or, as Danielle might say, "jank"

my work is so pretty in the spring :)

2006-05-11T08:37:00.000-04:00

some of my favourites

2006-05-06T18:59:00.000-04:00

jet-lagged

2006-05-05T09:18:00.000-04:00

for some reason, my soul is having a rather tough time catching up to me this time around.

i still feel in a cloud.

come on soul! you can do it! just a little further now! i *know* you can!

although, it truly does make work a tad more interesting, if not delusional.

le pont

2006-05-02T04:59:00.000-04:00

i bit the bullet (and my wallet) and did the Syndey Harbour Bridge Climb this afternoon. it's something i really did want to do, but the price ($169) had initially turned me off.

i'm quite glad to have done so. it was well worth the money.

and a pretty magical way to see my last Australian sunset.

tomorrow morning, i start my long journey home.

scott.

penguins

2006-04-30T03:45:00.000-04:00

apparently Canadians have a rather odd fascination with penguins.

since i've arrived in Melbourne, i've wanted to go to Phillip Island to see, what is called, the "penguin parade". at dusk each night, i'm told that thousands of wee penguins waddle out of the ocean and along a beach. mass cheese of tourism, i agree.

but i'm happy to report my glee at the fact that i will be witness to this event tomorrow evening.

that, and i'll get to cuddle a wombat ;)

addendum

2006-04-28T03:15:00.000-04:00

speaking of the writing on the wall, the new Federal Court of Australia courthouse in Melbourne has the Australian Constitution etched into the glass panels of the building. it's so cheesily symbolic; i cannot not find it tremendous.

though, it makes me wonder ... would the Supreme Court of Canada mind if i carved the words of the Canadian Constitution into its bench? (and by bench, i refer to the *actual* bench, not the people who compose it. anyone who thought otherwise is sick and twisted, and you should turn yourself into the RCMP).

this all reminds me of the Timothy Findley novel, "Famous Last Words".

cheerio.

"the studious silence of the library ... tranquil brightness"

2006-04-27T23:51:00.000-04:00

not only that, but some libraries offer free email! a blessed cathedral to any traveller.

here i currently sit in the State Library of Victoria; a rather fine example of "old-meets-new" architecture. it's somewhat like a combination of the "Great Library" with the new Opera House.

i admit that i like to visit libraries. more than museums and more than art galleries. libraries add a much more pragmatic feel to culture.

two things i quite enjoy about this library. first, in the "La Trobe Reading Room" (where i currently sit), there are quotations all along the walls by famous authors about the importance of books and libraries. examples include: "Books are the threads from which the fabric of our culture and civilization are woven" (Richard W. Clement); "One reads in order to ask questions" (Franz Kafka); and "Books, the children of the brain" (Jonathan Swift).

second, this library features a chess room. an entire room devoted to the history of the game. although i cannot honestly say that i am good player (in any sense of the word), i do quite enjoy the game and, more so, its history. the room, indeed, made me think of "The Eight" (novel by Katherine Neville).

tragically, however, these computers do not seem to allow me to connect my camera. thus, there will be no pictures for your viewing pleasure this time around (which is quite a shame, really, because i've taken about 300 pictures in the last two days, at least some of which must have turned out well).

over the last two days, i ventured out on my own to drive the creatively-named "Great Ocean Road": a road built to match California's "Pacific Coast Highway". it was all quite beautiful. i'm happy to have listened to John's suggestion to stay the night somewhere at the half-way point. although the road is not all that long, there is a lot to see and do along the way. yesterday was especially beautiful, watching the sunset on the ocean and its majestical rocks and islands. it reminded me of the Dingle Peninsula (in Ireland), absent the green, rain and fog. stunning, i tell you.

scott.

2006-04-23T23:49:00.000-04:00

because i promised

2006-04-23T23:29:00.000-04:00

to keep y'all posted on my adventures, you'll notice a more "itinerary-based" approach to 'blogging. that said, i promise to include a few pictures again. they seem to be going over well.

so .. it's Monday. i'm in Melbourne. it's a tad grey out today, perhaps in mourning on the departure of David Gray from the city. saw his concert last night with John, which was fantastic. what a voice!

the weather today makes for a more low-key day, inclusive of email and wandering. i'm also feeling a tad under the weather, the result of which (i fear) kept John awake most of the night (tossing, turning, sneezing, sniffling and coughing can create quite the racket, not to mention the noise caused by me trying to open his door). i'm sorry John. you'll be happy to hear that, after sleeping until noon, i'm feeling much better. i've also picked up some goods to ensure a peaceful sleep this evening.

i arrived in Melbourne on Friday, after a great 4 days from Sydney down this way.

the skinny on that tour is as follows. there were only 6 of us on the tour (as opposed to the planned 22), so that meant we each had an entire row to ourselves on the tour bus. brilliant! made sleeping quite a joy during the more boring parts of the ride. our tour guide/driver, Jarrod, was excellent and very fun. the 5 other travellers were quite a bunch, and we got to know each other quite well over the four days we spent with each other.

day one (last Tuesday) - visited Canberra (the national capital); Parliament House; and the War Memorial. had lunch. drove to Jindabyne, where we had a great meal and fantastic accommodations. pool, sauna and a pub attached to the motel. what more could one ask? Jindabyne is a little skiing village at the bottom of the Snowy Mountain range.

day two (last Wednesday) - early wake up and hike up the highest mountain in Australia (it's got a Polish name, which i cannot remember how to spell right now). it was COLD. and there was SNOW. i never ever in my life thought that i would see snow in Australia, but there she be. the hike was incredible, and the view was well worth the trip. after the mountain, we made the winding and cliffy drive down to Ontos - the vegetarian organic Buddist farm retreat where we were staying for the night. the place was incredible, as was the food. we had a campfire with those who were on their way from Melbourne to Sydney with the same tour group. quite fun. up very late.

day three (last Thursday) - departed Ontos very early for our travel into a pretty incredible cave park (full of 'tites); visited a winery for tasting and lunch; wandered through a rain forest .. and then headed to Foster (accommodation for the evening). first rain of the trip, and we got soaked! but it was fun, and a great BBQ dinner was waiting for us upon our arrival. spent the night drinking with a bunch of Canadians who were travelling along the same route north to Sydney.

day four (last Friday) - departed Foster for our day in Wilsons Promontory .. a national park that is just FULL of wildlife. came right up to a pack of kangaroos and emus. we hiked along the ocean path and took in the stunning scenery for a few hours. then got stuck in a hail storm .. and hightailed it back to the bus .. and on to Melbourne.

on Friday evening, i met up with John at a Starbucks. he has since been the most gracious of hosts, and i'm having a time with this city.

today's special

2006-04-17T03:33:00.000-04:00

2006-04-16T06:24:00.000-04:00

aloha!

2006-04-16T06:14:00.000-04:00

be kind to me if this sucks. i'm exhausted.

it's currently 19h13 on Sunday evening.

[although, to be fair, i really have *no* idea what time it is. i keep looking at the clock in a manner of disbelief. aside from the fact that i've travelled on a plane for 20 hours; lost a day; and wandered around a new city for an entire day ... all on about 2 hours of sleep ... i thought i was doing pretty well. that was, of course, before the ultimate confusion set in. the sun .. well .. it sets early here. 5:00p.m. and it's pitch black. it must have something to do with being so close to the south pole (that, and their daylight savings ended on the day that our's began). speaking of south pole, i watched 'march of the penguins' on the flight down (among a number of other movies ... free movies ... on demand ... on your private screen .. very fun, if not a tad overwhelming. hence the 2 hours' sleep). i thought the film was quite interesting. i recommend.]

and i just want to go to bed. at about 16h00, the wall hit me. i went back to the hostel for a nap. based on the demography of my room, i know a 19h00 bedtime will not result in uninterrupted sleep.

it's been a good day, though. here's a summary.

my flights were long and uneventful. they arrived on time, without problems. my passage through customs was a breeze (although, i did have to do a little dance to show the 'soil' on the bottom of my shoes to a quarantine officer). i caught a shuttle to the hostel for a decent price. i stashed my bags at the hostel (i arrived at 8h00, and the room was not going to be ready until 13h00). i called mum. i walked to the Opera House. i walked all around the botanical gardens and surrounding area. i took a ferry to Manly Island. i walked all around the coast. i took the ferry back. i climbed the Harbour Bridge tower (not the actual bridge .. too expensive for my blood!!). i saw a human contortionist. i sat and had a Guinness in the sun. i saw some live jazz on the street. i had a nap. i had dinner. and now i'm here.

it's been a busy day.

you know. there's something that just makes you fall in love with a city when it's beautiful, warm and sunny on the first day you arrive. i quite like it here.

oh .. and i've taken about 100 pictures already ;)

stay tuned for my favourites of the day. (it'll take me a tad to figure this out)

scott.

the blind leading the blind?

2006-04-11T15:59:00.000-04:00

so to speak.

each day, at the exact same spot, i chuckle on the way to work.

on the west side (Nathan Phillips Square side) of Bay Street at the north side of Old City Hall, there is a garbage/recycling bin, which advertises a joint campaign between the City of Toronto and Canada Post against illiteracy.

"Literacy", it proclaims, "is a right".

and not just in English, but in a total of 19 languages.

it then goes on to provide a telephone number to call for help with illiteracy.

the irony of this never ceases to amuse me.

typically Canadian, the advertisement strives for exuberant inclusivity. it ensures sensitivity to those who read one of a variety of languages.

also typically Canadian, it somehow just misses the point.

oh Canada, how i love you. it's no wonder we produce the finest comedy and comedians the world over.

protest

2006-04-09T12:33:00.000-04:00

good marketing, gone wrong

2006-04-08T10:58:00.000-04:00

ordinarily, i am impressed with the marketing tactics of Starbucks. there's nothing like a choice product placement in the West Wing to make me crave the stuff.

but their latest ploy is, quite simply, terrible. to market the new film "akeelah and the bee", the creation of which Starbucks has financially contributed from its literacy fund, each sleeve now presents a winning word used in the national spelling bee.

"eudaemonic" is currently staring me in the face: the winning word in 1960.

"it's part of our literacy campaign", says a Barista friend of mine.

ok. fine. right.

following that information, we see a confusing sort of advertisement for the film. on its face, it's unclear whether it includes a definition of the word. following the title of the film:

1: changing the world one word at a time
2: to spell it like it is
3: an inspirational film in theatres everywhere [april 28]
www.starbucks.com/akeelah

on Monday, when i saw my first new sleeve, i assumed that definition "1" was the actual definition of the word, followed by an unimaginative description of the film.

after a few days, i concluded that there cannot possibly be that many difficult-to-spell words that all have the same meaning.

if this were *truly* part of Starbuck's literacy campaign, one would assume it only natural provide an actual definition. even, at the very least, a pronunciation guide.

eudaemonic (eudemonic) [ju:dI'monIk]: 1. conducive to happiness; viewed as conducive to happiness. 2. appliances for comfort, means of happiness.

alignment

2006-04-05T00:04:00.000-04:00

fortuitous: by chance; that happens or is produced by fortune or chance; accidental, casual.

as if it weren't enough, already. i've received one more sign that my pending trip "down under" is meant to be.

David Gray is giving a concert in Melbourne during my time there. John has graciously booked the tickets.

thank you, John.

farewell to the 'blair witch'

2006-04-02T21:03:00.000-04:00

after 6 lovely years, it seems as though this weekend was my last in the woods. the weather was, for the most part, beautiful and simultaneously fitting to a farewell.

at first, i was reluctant about the idea of my parents moving to such a 'desolate' location. over the years, i learned to not only accept, but enjoy the retreat.

i will miss it.

some things never change

2006-03-28T12:21:00.000-05:00

while conducting an invigorating piece of research on the Income Tax Act, i just stumbled upon this interesting article written in 1917. in it, the author states:

"Yet in recent years a clamor has been raised against the exercise by the courts of what has hitherto been thought their unquestionable right and duty. It is demanded that the will of the people shall prevail, be it right or wrong, just or unjust, constitutional or unconstitutional. It is asserted that the possession by the courts of justice of the authority to annul a statute on constitutional grounds, contrary to the opinion of the legislature which enacted it or of the people who approve it, is 'a flat and uncompromising negation of democracy.'"

- (1917), 1 Const. Rev. 23 -

in other news, my homonystic fun (pun?) reached a new level of pre-coffee self-amusement this morning:

Ben: Could you please let me know if you have a keyword outstanding?

me: i have a keyword outstanding, and it's an outstanding keyword.

Ben: sorry ... that's way above the acceptable standard. You will have to crapify your outstanding, outstanding keyword if it is to be added to the rest.

me: but that would make it incredible.

cyclonic effect

2006-03-23T22:01:00.000-05:00

it's funny how things work out.

on Monday, i lamented: "I need a vacation!"

on Tuesday, i arrived at work to an e-postcard from John inviting me to come visit: he lives in Australia. i responded, in wit, by asking: "when should i come and where will i stay?"

on Wednesday, he suggested that i should come "tomorrow" and that i could stay with him.

this morning (Thursday), i walked to work with the thought in my mind that perhaps, just maybe, i could swing a trip to Australia.

by noon, i realised that flights are remarkably cheap to Australia right now for travel in April. i learned that the cost of a flight fell almost exactly within the amount i received on my income tax return. i noted that Eleanore was not sitting in April.

by 15h00, i had permission from Eleanore to take time off work.

by 18h00, i had more formal permission from John to come visit.

and as of 21h00, yours truly is booked on Qantas flights:

3246, departing Toronto at 18h05 on 14 April 2006; arriving Los Angeles at 20h26 on 14 April 2006

12, departing Los Angeles at 22h30 on 14 April 2006; arriving Sydney at 6h05 on 16 April 2006

107, departing Sydney at 10h50 on 3 May 2006; arriving Los Angeles at 7h10 on 3 May 2006

3245, departing Los Angeles at 9h26 on 3 May 2006; arriving Toronto at 17h05 on 3 May 2006

this should be fun :)

the gods must be crazy

2006-03-22T21:09:00.000-05:00

to have kept Gina on ANTM for one more week.

i'm a tad worried about Nnenna (my #1 choice in the office-pool). she seemed a little down, a little distracted this evening. her magic was gone. i hope it returns.

any suggestions?

2006-03-22T20:03:00.000-05:00

for about the last few months, i've noticed myself going through a rather extraordinary quantity of socks.

i've noticed it more in the past few weeks.

it seems i can't wear a pair of socks without the result of twin holes, each in the exact same place: that place above the heel that is most prone to blisters.

this is getting to be quite frustrating, especially because i have a very tough time buying socks. i can never choose.

suggestions?

in other news, it appears that i'm the only one in the world who never knew that Humpty Dumpty was an egg.

¿Se va por aquí a Santiago de Compostela?

2006-02-12T14:52:00.000-05:00

on the eve of my trip to Eire, i found myself sitting in the Dirty Oak in Ottawa. a new chapter in my life had just begun, and i was reuniting with those friends who were there, feast or famine, though the journey i had just completed.

my pending trip naturally sparked conversation about our future plans in travel. when the conversation turned to Cynthia, she began to speak of "El Camino de Santiago", the way to Santiago: a medieval pilgrimage route that winds along the 800kilometres from St. Jean-Pied-de-Port in France to the final resting place of St. James the Apostle.

i was immediately intrigued. for whatever reason, the thought of hiking for 30 days along a Catholic pilgrimage just seemed to grip. by the time i boarded my flight to Dublin the following evening, i had conceded to my liking that this would be my next adventure in travel.

the author, Paolo Coelho, is perhaps best known for his novel "The Alchemist" - a fable about following your dream. in it, he speaks of the necessity to listen to our hearts and read the omens strewn along the path of our lives. in so doing, we will stumble upon the way to our "personal legend".

after nine days in Eire, i found myself climbing one of the highest mountains on that island, Croagh Patrick. i had wanted to do this since i had read about the climb one afternoon in Vancouver. armed with a backpack and a walking stick, i began what appeared to be leisurely walk along a paved path.

"deceptive" is a choice word to describe what came next. that path quickly turned loose and steep. the last portion of the climb, to the summit, was especially intense. with rocks tumbling all around (from those climbing ahead), the "path" became more and more narrow, all the while with the, then, 2000foot drop in plain view. add a touch of fog and rain, and i was convinced this was a recipe for disaster.

upon reaching the top, i was reminded that this was the historic pilgrimage of St. Patrick, the patron saint of this majestic island. not being much of a religious man, i nevertheless found myself wandering into the chapel to pray. believe me, it's very easy to become the praying sort when, after a gruelling climb, you realise that it's going to be far more difficult and dangerous to descend.

the rain and mist had made everything slippery. the more panoramic view brought my legs to a crippling halt on more than one occasion. i've never been more focused in my entire life. the entire world around me disappeared, with my energy intense upon the relationship between my feet and each rock, one-by-one. arriving at the bottom filled me with exhilarative delight. not only had i survived, i felt strangely, and imperceptibly, changed.

a few weeks after my return to Canada, and fresh with this experience in mind, i was in a bookstore in Guelph when, sticking out from one of the shelves was a book, the cover of which was a beautiful colour and design. drawn to discover, i pulled this book from the shelf. turns out, Paolo Coelho has written another book: "The Pilgrimage" - a contemporary quest for ancient wisdom along the long road to Santiago de Compostela.

all that to say, omenly, "Santiago, here i come".

unlike my last "pilgrimage", however, i will not be alone.

the last time i visited my parents, it was nice to see the enthusiasm of my father toward this chapter. walking around the house, he was listening to a "teach yourself Spanish" CD on his discman. listening to his Spanish ...

"¿Se puede ir andando?"

...

i realised how much i am looking forward to this, our next journey in life.

a sunday-evening thought

2006-01-29T12:46:00.000-05:00

sometimes i think it'd be nice to have a roommate again.

this is one of those times.

The Way I See It #53

2006-01-23T16:09:00.000-05:00

Be exceptional. Make tremendous efforts to be extraordinary. What a privilege to be here on the planet to contribute your unique donation to humankind. Just make sure you do so ...

- Shelby Lynne, musician -

(on the back of the Starbuck's coffee cup currently sitting on my desk, waiting to be savoured)

"and so it goes"

2006-01-21T00:39:00.000-05:00

Kelly broke it off.

and, well .. that's that.

xox

addendum

2006-01-19T23:02:00.000-05:00

after much unexpected response to my last post, and further thought on the matter, i am (quite shockingly) speechful and feel inclined to write more.

it wasn't until this morning that i viewed my recent consideration of friendship (namely, that there are many different types of friends who play many different roles, be they good or bad or sufficiently otherwise) through the lens of our current use of the word "friend" in the English language.

in the first instance, "friend" is defined in the Oxford English Dictionary as:

"One joined to another in mutual benevolence and intimacy ..."

in the second instance, however, it is defined as:

"Used loosely in various ways: e.g. applied to a mere acquaintance, or to a stranger, as a mark of goodwill ..."

to me, it is this latter reference that speaks more to the perpetual use of this word.

we know we have all done it. we often refer to someone as a "friend", who we've only just met a few days prior; who we know literally nothing about, perhaps other than the sharing of a mutual "friend" or interest, that being what brought us together in the first place.

we also attach the word "friend" to people we don't rightly like all that much, but who have been associated as a friend for too long (perhaps as a result of the preceding paragraph, or for countless other possible reasons) that it has become impolite to shift gears of address.

and we simultaneously all recognise that these "'friends" aren't truly friends. we know the distinction in our head and our heart.

thus, as a matter of distinction, we defer to adding adjectives and descriptors, abound.

this is my "best" friend. my "bestest" friend. my "oldest" friend. my friend "from Egypt". a friend "i went to high school with".

why has such an important word become so devoid of its core? is it because "acquaintance" has taken on such a negative connotation?

i believe so. just listen to yourself introducing a "friend" to another person on the street in this manner: "this is my acquaintance".

use of "acquaintance", in any situation, generally feels more in reference to someone, with whom you are associated, but with whom you'd either rather not be or just don't quite like. it's a cue, albeit an obvious one to all who truly understand the subtle nuance of our language.

the best example, in contrast, is the German language. "Freund" translates (rather obviously and phonetically) to "Friend" in English: the similarities end there.

while living in Germany, it was cogently explained to me that one only ever has three or four "Freund"s at any given time. these people reflect the purest and most intimate relationships in your life. they are the ones who know you best and form part of your "inner-circle". everyone else, even good friends who just don't meet this definition, are referred to as "Bekannte", which literally translates to "acquaintance" in English.

this cogent explanation came in response to my "fearful use" of "Freund" to refer to all my "friends" at work. after all, we would go out for drinks on regular occasions to celebrate the end of a long day.

i referred to these people as my "friends", because my paradigm so required. but to them, my use of this word was received as overbearing, ingenuine and slightly creepy.

Stefan said it best: [TRANSLATION] "You will leave Germany without any friends, in the true German sense of it all."

that written, i confess that i do not wish to attempt any reference to my acquaintances as such in the near future. nor do i wish to adopt the more German paradigm to friendship, too limiting to my heart.

all i can say, my friends - you know who you are. you can see it in my smile, my eyes. you can hear it my laugh. feel it in my touch. read it in my words.

which brings me to my next topic, namely that the variety of types of friendships (allowed for by way of the English label) can be a very positive thing.

waiting for me at work this morning was an e-mail from my dear friend, Kym. she had forwarded an e-mail to me that was sent to her by her mother, Jan. to my delight, it referred to my last post and her delight in having read it. (thank you, Jan!)

i was touched, so very touched, that she read my 'blog. Jan is, quite likely, the sweetest and most gracious mum of a friend that i have ever had the fortune to meet. i will always remember, in fondness, my pedantic wanderings down to First Lanark and into Kym's room while she was on the phone with her mum. before i had even met her in person, it would always bring a smile to my face to pass greetings to each other through Kym. and truly, how can i not love someone who gives me wee turtle sculptures to decorate my space?

do i consider her a friend? but, of course.

in the very same way that i consider Christine's mum a friend. in high school, i would often drive over to Christine's house for a visit. it was normally up to an hour before Christine would even know of my presence in her home. upon my arrival, her mum would take me into the kitchen, where we would have long conversations about anything and nothing. it was always very fun, made especially more so when seeing the look on Christine's face after just such an event.

and also in the very same way that i consider Sue's parents to be my friends. one lovely evening last February, deep in the stench of an Ottawa winter, Sue's parents were in town from Prince Edward Island and invited me over to their hotel room for dinner, drinks, conversation and laughs. Laura-mac was there as well (being a good friend of all the Connolly kids). the night stands out as one of the highlights of my year in that city.

during the course of conversation that evening, we spoke about a (then) recent article in the Globe and Mail about friendship and Canadian statistics thereon. though i don't recall the details of this article, i remember it referring to the lack of friends (in a numerical sense) that Canadians consider themselves to have. from there, we spoke about family, and how we all (at least in that room) consider our family to be friends and our friends to be family.

a nice way to end the evening. and this post, for that matter.

especially since i moved away from home, i've continually recognised how my friends (in the various cities i've since called home) have become my family. at the same time, my family have, in addition to being family, become more and more my friends.

oh, how i love the English language.

"that's what friends are for"

2006-01-17T22:19:00.000-05:00

true friends, they make you laugh; they make you cry; they challenge you; they make you feel at home; they make you question yourself; they comfort you; you question them; they don't question you; and, yes, at times they disappoint.

but, for me, they are a constant reminder of how much i've yet to learn about myself; an ever present source of self-realisation.

this past week has been just one of those weeks. a week through which, for whatever reason, i've come to learn more about friendship it all its different varieties. and through this learning, i have stumbled upon the path to learning more about myself.

i'd be lying if i tried to say there wasn't some sort of inspiration for this post. in fact, there has been quite a lot.

but one stands out among the rest.

a few days ago, i had a conversation with a friend that left me feeling rather hurt. without going into details, i was on the receiving end of some, what i considered, snide remarks about my character. remarks that, if objectively approaching the truth, i would have been able to accept.

but even a pale self-appreciation of myself has left me at a loss.

being the person i am, i momentarily left it at that. i didn't say much. i didn't challenge. i passively refuted and left the conversation.

i was hurt. i was offended. but in the end, i felt misunderstood.

and in that situation, i did what i normally do. i talked. and i talked. to those around me; to those at work. i shamefully sent transcripts of the conversation to two friends. and i felt bad about so doing, after-the-fact.

i went to the gym. and i thought. and i thought. and i realised that there is a lot to learn from this situation.

the problem was not necessarily in the person who spoke the words, but rather in the words themselves and the way in which they were received by me.

and i questioned - perhaps the problem was more with me? that i had unrealistic perceptions of our friendship? and how much i assumed that this person knew about me?

in realising my potential failure in making this assumption, i was reminded that all friends do not know (nor should they) everything about me. that each friend plays a different role. that each friend is different in magnitude and in flavour.

from there, my anger and frustration dissolved in a similous manner. a manner that opened my mind to the different roles that each friend plays in my life.

in the past week:

i had a friend lift the weight upon my shoulders in one simple gesture. she said exactly what i needed to hear. she knew exactly how to respond. she warmed my heart.

i had a friend appear prominently in a tarot card reading, to teach me that disappointment can sometimes be a gift.

i had two friends, the very best of sorts, attend that tarot card reading. and i was reminded that they know me so well that i can say anything, be anything, without fear of rejection.

i spoke with a friend, who provided advice of impeccable wisdom; a friend who once shared unspoken mutual interest during a time of confusion.

i spoke with another friend, about whom i've often wondered in a romantic sense.

i didn't much speak with a friend, for whom i harbour deep emotions. and i was neurotic; i was anxious; i was elated; i couldn't sleep.

a friend told me she loved me.

a friend disappointed me.

and i spent countless moments with my friends in conversation, who always make me laugh: make me smile; let me talk; make me think; make me warm.

i've recently entered a stage where i'm more astute to my words and their possible interpretations. i've elatedly fallen head-over-heals for someone, and i simultaneously feel overjoyed, hollow, satisfied, insecure, calm, aware and fragile.

in such times, and i recognise that i'm not entirely speaking from experience in the truest sense of the word, i turn to my friends. without them, this past week would have been tough. i would have managed, of course. but i appreciate, from the bottom of my soul, their attentiveness to my pestilent and persistent ramblings about nothingness.

thank you.

thank you.

i am quite the fan of karaoke. this is absolutely one of my favourite things to do with friends. and when given the opportunity, i love to end an evening with friends in mutual voice to "that's what friends are for".

cheesy, i appreciate. pathetic, i'm willing to accept.

but truth, oh truth, how it shines through.

"taking it on faith"

2006-01-08T23:36:00.000-05:00

they said it best ...

"I must learn to love the fool in me - the one who feels too much, talks too much, takes too many chances, wins sometimes and loses often, lacks self-control, loves and hates, hurts and gets hurt, promises and breaks promises, laughs and cries. It alone protects me from that utterly self-controlled masterful tyrant whom I also harbour and who would rob me of human aliveness, humility and dignity but for my fool." (Theodore Isaac Rubin)

"You are so young, so before all beginning, and I want to beg you, as much as I can, dear sir, to be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and to try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms and like books that are written in a very foreign tongue. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer." (Rainer Maria Rilke)

"All of us are better when we're loved." (Alistair MacLeod)

kleenex, toilet paper and baby carrots

2006-01-03T23:12:00.000-05:00

what do these three things have in common?

for starters, they are the three items i wanted to purchase at the 24-hour grocery store on my way home from work tonight.

i was working late, and i didn't get around to my shopping until 22h30.

evidently, at this hour, the 24-hour grocery store not have kleenex, toilet paper or baby carrots.

i hate Dominion.

and the winner is ...

2005-12-31T18:24:00.000-05:00

with the New Year mere hours away, i'm struck with the task of officially choosing my "song of the year".

this year, the task is made all the more special with the knowledge that the identity of my "song of the year" will become so-called public knowledge, by way of this medium, for the very first time.

since the end of 2001, i have, each year, chosen a song that was pivotal to that year.

the criteria is not complex. essentially, the song must feature prominently in almost every facet of my life. each listen must evoke the same sensation as though it were the first time. the lyrics must connect. in sum, the song completes my year.

the song need not have been released during the subject year. rather, it only represents a song that was important to me during that year.

in 2001, the winner was Jane Monheit's cover of "Case of Me". in 2002, it was the version of "Bleed to Love Her" found on the album, "The Dance", by Fleetwood Mac. in 2003, it was Eva Cassidy's live cover of "Fields of Gold". last year, it was (without a doubt) "Show me the River" by eastmountainsouth.

this year, the choice was much more difficult than in years' past. to me, it was a phenomenal year for music. it could very easily have been "Gathering Dust" by David Gray. in fact, it could have been any song from his newest album, "Life in Slow Motion". also in the running was: "La Cienega Just Smiled" by Ryan Adams; "Tupelo Honey" or "Redwood Tree" by Van Morrison; "Dirty Little Secret" by Sarah McLachlin (remixed by Thievery Corporation); "Fair" by Remy Zero; "The Beauty of the Rain" by Dar Williams; "Better Together" by Jack Johnson; "My Sundown" by Jimmy Eat World; "Wading in the Velvet Sea" by Phish; and countless others.

in the end, however, the winner was clear. and an interesting one, indeed. i had not even heard the song (let alone the band) prior to my time in Vancouver. but when i saw the band in concert in Vancouver, they literally knocked my f'in socks off.

by the time this song featured during the closing scene of an episode of Grey's Anatomy, i was sold. and since then, this song has appeared on nearly every single mix-CD i've made.

in never fails to bring a smile to my face.

the winner is ...

"Somewhere Only We Know" by Keane.

...

I walked across an empty land,
I knew the pathway like the back of my hand.
I felt the earth beneath my feet,
Sat by the river and it made me complete.
Oh, simple thing, where have you gone?
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on.
So tell me when you're gonna let me in,
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin.

I came across a fallen tree,
I felt the branches of it looking at me.
Is this the place we used to love?
Is this the place that I've been dreaming of?

Oh, simple thing, where have you gone?
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on.
So tell me when you're gonna let me in,
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin.

And if you have a minute why don't we go,
Talk about it somewhere only we know?
This could be the end of everything.
So why don't we go, somewhere only we know?
Somewhere only we know.

Oh, simple thing, where have you gone?
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on.
So tell me when you gonna let me in,
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin.

And if you have a minute why don't we go,
Talk about it somewhere only we know?
This could be the end of everything.
So why don't we go, so why don't we go?

This could be the end of everything.
So why don't we go, somewhere only we know?
Somewhere only we know?
Somewhere only we know.

(in)appropriate?

2005-12-22T13:47:00.000-05:00

as most of you are likely aware, my work environment is pretty casual, at least when down in the concourse. if elsewhere in the building, it quickly becomes rich with pompous formality.

which is why i try to remain down in the concourse. free from the "ties that bind", so to speak. where, often, no one from above comes to visit.

which leaves my work-space in a relatively casual state of affairs.

this morning, however, we were visited by one from above. the delivery of next term's "pairings" was made, in person, by Charlene.

without much work to do, i was chatting with John in his office. when Charlene popped by, she indicated that she had just left the memo on my chair. beside my desk.

meaning, that she likely saw what was open on my desk. what i had left there before going to speak with John.

last week's issue of 'NOW', opened to pages 120/121: the "what turns you on?" sex survey.

with pictures of nudity, sex and kissing all over the top of the pages, both ends of my pen notably rested by the two questions i had most recently answered:

question 9: if you had sex more often with a partner, would you masturbate less?

question 42: what costume (on someone else) would best fuel your fantasy fire?

(in)appropriate?

the most beautiful thing he ever wrote:

2005-12-20T21:36:00.000-05:00

I will tell you why; so shall my anticipation prevent your discovery, and your secrecy to the king and queen moult no feather.

I have of late - but wherefore I know not - lost all my mirth, forgone all custom of exercises; and, indeed, it goes so heavily with my disposition that this goodly frame, the earth, seems to me a sterile promontory; this most excellent canopy, the air, look you, this brave o'erhanging firmament, this majestical roof fretted with golden fire, why, it appeareth no other thing to me than a foul and pestilent congregation of vapours.

What a piece of work is man!

How noble in reason!

How infinite in faculty!

In form and moving, how express and admirable!

In action how like an angel!

In apprehension, how like a god!

The beauty of the world!

The paragon of animals!

And yet, to me, what is this quintessence of dust?

Man delights not me; no, nor woman neither, though by your smiling you seem to say so.

"it snows only once in our dreams"

2005-12-15T19:52:00.000-05:00

walking to work this morning, i realised that, in just fifteen days, yours truly will ripen to the age of twenty-seven.

for as long as i've been cogent of the actual idea of "twenty-seven years of age", i've always thought that this will be my year. the best year of my life. it's all downhill from here. ahem, there. after twenty-seven, that is.

i've always thought this would be the year i'd get my life in order. i'd maybe buy a couch. maybe get a dog. oh, and i'd fall in love with the one i'll spend the rest of my life with.

some may think such "expectations" place a cloud of potential disappointment upon the year. and while it may very well be true that all such "expectations" may not actually come to light, i question: do things pass us by like crossing ships in the night, when the hope of them never cross our mind?

i was supposed to be at bookclub this evening. we were to discuss the evocative beauty of "snow", the haunting prose of Orhan Pamuk's political commentary on headscarves, Muslim women and a remote village in Turkey.

ironically, bookclub was cancelled because of the snow.

so, instead, i thought i'd write a quick post. and perhaps i'll finish "snow", while watching it fall outside my window.

juggles away ...

2005-12-12T15:57:00.001-05:00

without my office-mate here today, i've taken free reign of our workspace.

pondering what to do with the next 17 minutes of my day (read: i just completed a task and choose not to start a new one with the knowledge that in 17 minutes [now 16] i will be sitting in a speaker series session), i choose to juggle.

i do miss amy. she returns on Wednesday afternoon.

it's a beautiful day outside.

13 minutes to go.

i have plans to go see the new Harry Potter film tomorrow night. i'm a tad apprehensive about seeing this one. for two reasons, really: first, the 4th was my favourite book; and second, i've not liked any of the movies to date. that said, i do know that i just have to see the film. and i have to see it in the theatre. quidditch just doesn't have the same feel in my living room.

the company will be lovely. a continuation of the magic theme.

10 minutes to go.

i'll now start getting into my suit. one of the very very best things about this job is the dress-code. currently, i am dressed in: an old pair of jeans; a ripped tee; a bright yellow zippy; an old pair of sneaks; and my pretty cute toque from Ireland.

whenever we have to go "upstairs", though, we must change into our monkey-suits.

i tend to spend most of my days trying to avoid this or, at least, keep it to a minimum. a great day is when i've not had to change even once. a good day is having to change only once.

this will be the second time today i've entered the monkey suit, making this an "average day".

but all else factoring, it's still a pretty great day. did i mention how beautiful it is outside? a little cold, yes, but still beautiful and sunny.

7 minutes to go.

should i wear a tie? that will involve about 30 more seconds.

hrmm .. no.

6 minutes to go.

now i'm helping Denise with a legislative question.

4 minutes to go.

time to go.

xox

do you believe in magic?

2005-12-10T02:35:00.000-05:00

i just got home from what has been one of the very best dates i've ever had (if not the best).

i met Kelly back in August. my friend, Elaine, was in town and, during the course of her visit, Kelly walked into my life. at first, i found Kelly to be absolutely dreamy. but for various reasons, i simply left it at that. predominantly, i assumed that Kelly must obviously be in a long-term, serious and committed relationship.

a few weeks later, i ran into Kelly on the street with a handful of groceries. i admit, my knees went a little weak. but for all the same reasons as before, i simply left it at that.

fast-forward a few months to the middle of November when Elaine returned to Toronto for another visit. while out for drinks with Elaine and Stephen (Kelly's roommate), i probed a little as to Kelly's status, relationshiply speaking. turns out, to my glee, that Kelly is single.

more to my glee, i found myself a few nights later with Kelly, Elaine, Stephen and "the gang". and i'd be lying if i said i was completely focused on all others in my company that evening. i felt an immense amount of attraction and chemistry, enough to compel me to walk into work on Monday morning and email Elaine (by that time back home in New Haven).

she beat me to it. there was already a message from Elaine asking what i "thought" about Kelly. after a number of emails back and forth, it became clear to me that the interest was mutual.

and so, after days of neurotic romanticising, i found myself on a date with Kelly this evening. part of such neurosis involved the realisation (on my part) that i was entering this date with the desire for a second, third and fourth.

we went to a magic show.

i have a token to remember the night. i was called on stage at the magic show. the magician bent and twisted a fork in my hand with his "mind". he left me with the fork.

i'm quite smitten, definitely.

magical, just magical.

though i could go on to describe all the endearing and beautiful moments of the evening, i'll simply leave it at this. i'd prefer to keep the magic to myself, at least for the time being.

Craigie

2005-11-26T21:07:00.000-05:00

"i have nothing to say", says Craigie.

he's here visiting from Ottawa. i met Craigie during the Bar Admission course ("bar ads"). a qualification on this would be that Craigie somehow contends that he met me during the summer of 2003 at an underground bar, but i have no recollection of this. given his exhaustive memory for details, i might decline to believe in his memory. although, i never did work for Justice, as his memory suggests.

you see, when attending Bar Ads, i was "forced" to purchase Second Cup coffee on the way to class. this is simply the result of my laziness, because there wasn't actually a Starbucks en route.

the first day of class, i purchased my coffee at Second Cup and, while in line, noticed a "member of the family". he was wearing brown shoes and khakis. oh, and he had a brown leather briefcase from Eddie Bauer. (craig is reminding me that he was also wearing a lovely orange short-sleeve shirt). tall, dark and handsome ordered a non-fat latte with a buttertart.

turns out, this man was in my "small-group".

for the first week, we didn't talk. i saw him every morning on the way to Second Cup and "bar ads". i wasn't stalking him, rather i have a more difficult time waking up in the morning and was always a few minutes (at least) behind him. (Craigie thinks that, by saying this, it indicates that i actually *was* stalking him .. i wasn't).

sitting in Real Estate class, he leaned over one day and said: "did i hear you say that you went to Dalhousie?". (to which i thought, i never actually had said that .. maybe he's stalking me .. weird). i said: "but of course".

and so blossomed a wonderful friendship.

Craigie is visiting from Ottawa this weekend. in fact, he attended a conference today that has been the bane of my existence for the past week. i had to conduct research for my Judge and draft opening remarks for her.

we're now sitting here, after a lovely meal at "fire on the east side"

and, as the quantitative Craigie has pointed out, it has been 10 days since my last post. forgive me Father.

we're listening to music, downloading music, drinking beer and thinking of going to "remingtons."

i've never been to a strip-club, and i think it might be worthwhile, if only for the humour.

Craigie will now randomly type:

"i find the pressure unbearable", says Craigie.

he is my favourite person to do Karaoke with. he is, perhaps, the funniest person i've ever met.

"why do you build me up, buttercup?"

sometimes i feel like a nut ...

2005-11-17T22:52:00.000-05:00

a "gahvawnkah" nut, that is.

i've been working for the provs for almost 4 months. and in that time, i've heard this strange word "gahvawnkah" a number of times, with no friggin' idea what it meant.

i just assumed it was some nerdy techy word, never to be truly shared with us "non-computer types". i thought this because i only ever heard the word in the context of computer- or email-talk.

today, the mystery was demystified. "gahvawnkah" actually refers to "gov.on.ca" (said all together as one word); the last portion of all government email addresses in the Province of Ontario.

thank you Financial Services Commission of Ontario. i never thought i'd say it, but there it is.

how is it that i can never figure out the fucking obvious?

tension relieved, not spilled.

2005-11-15T23:13:00.000-05:00

thank you, Patrick. i cannot express the sheer smile that came to my face upon reading your email. (and so wonderful to hear from you!)

without your permission (and i hope you don't mind), i've copied relevant portions below.

to keep everyone else in the loop, Patrick often found humour in my difficulties with the Starbucks lid. indeed, he was present for the staunch allegation that the problem was one with me, not the lid.

enjoy, oh sweet karma. and a good lesson for all those who share my woes.

"I felt it was necessary to comment to you on the Starbucks coffee lid. I believed at one point, when you first were discovering this obvious design flaw, that it was simply a user error. I then began thinking more and more about the user conditions that promoted this spillage. I couldn't really find anything distinctly different re: the way you walk, the way you move your hands, or the way you talk while concentrating on holding your coffee still. I bought a venti dark roast one day and was compelled to test our past theories of user complications.

"I discovered a very interesting phenomena surrounding a particular direction in which the cup is held. With a typical person, much like yourself, however a-typical you are in other senses, the coffee is held in such a manner to facilitate drinking. Obvious right?

"I noticed what we assumed to be user error was not actually user error, but design flaw. I discovered this because i chose to turn my coffee to hold the spout centered on the space between my thumb and forefinger. As typically held (a general assumption is being made here and the positioning of the spout), the spout is located generally around the centre to knuckle area of the thumb, such that drinking is not hindered by an awkward repositioning of your hand at each sip.

"I placed the problem end as said, centered on the open space and found the spillage to be distinctly less, as the coffee if being blocked by the sides of the lid as opposed to spilling out of the spout on each "swoosh" of the coffee. This technique works best if you have: A - drank a mouthful already; or B - left room for cream without topping up with cream.

"Given that I was one of the central figures of the "user error" theory, I must apologise for my ignorant comments. I was only drinking lattes when you were drinking Americanos, and the latte is a more solid drink with a buffer of fluffy foam to isolate any spillage through the spout.

"I hope this can relieve some tension."

in other news ... it appears that at least some Starbucks have provided an easy solution to appease disgruntled customers.

random

2005-11-14T23:09:00.000-05:00

i've been neglectful, i know.

but i never made any promises. and i won't apologise.

like a lovely boy, the idea of whom becomes less and less enchanting with time, i have lost the energy to 'blog.

either that, or perhaps it's just November.

i generally dislike November.

so, if November can be blamed, i'll abound in words come December.

until then, a few random words will string together in the shape of my thoughts, ideas and happenings as of late.

i went to the dentist on Friday. i love the dentist. the dentist loves me.

i went to the mall in the city where i grew up. i used the washroom. i was reminded why i always enjoyed (as much as someone like me can ever "enjoy" a public washroom) the washrooms there. the urinals, you see, are separated from each other by those little half-walls. they comfort me. while standing at the urinal, i pondered the brilliance of the person who thought of such an efficient and humane idea.

and then i was reminded of the test of urinal etiquette.

and i giggled. and found that the half-wall would be ever more brilliant if made into a full-wall. only then could i feel adequately protected from the post-giggle stare.

i ran out of chapstick last week. the cutie behind the counter at "The Body Shop" asked me if i had a "love your body card". i didn't hear correctly and, instead, thought i had been asked whether i had a "lovely body, sir".

i was in the LCBO on Saturday with some friends. i noticed a pretty gift package, complete with a bottle of Bombay Sapphire and a matching martini glass. i remarked on its prettiness to Christine, who responded by reading the attaching label: "The ladies in your life will love this ..."

today, my computer at work began to self-destruct. my email is completely useless. the rest will go in time. i became stressed. i ate an apple. i went to the gym. i ate dinner. i feel much better.

but now i should sleep.

best line of the day: "saw "the simpsons" the other night - krusty had to verify his jewishness - they asked him if he was circumcised - he said "and then some" - good answer, i thought, and it pretty well summarises my dating life right now"

oh, November. it's half-way over.

a whole new level

2005-11-06T01:49:00.000-05:00

it's 1h48 in the morning, on what is rightly still considered a saturday night.

and i'm watching Supreme Court of Canada hearings on CPAC.

i have a more substantive 'blog in mind. it's half-written, even.

but i can't possibly take myself away from such gripping television to complete.

my apologies.

the peeve, within the peeved

2005-10-24T23:06:00.000-04:00

at least once a day, i am aware of my pet peeves. i like to think i'm not ordinarily a negative person, yet remarkably embrace the peeve on a daily basis. recognisable in an instant (it begins as a tingling in the toes), i find Toronto provides an infinite abyss of sensation.

take today, for instance. waiting in the "1-8 items, express line" at the grocery store, the woman ahead casually placed 16 products on the wee conveyor belt of capitalism. witnessing this, i fought fought fought the desire to say something, instead waiting for the inevitable conclusion to this type of episode. upon noticing this obvious violation, the clerk reminded the villain of the 8-item-limit to this express line. the villain's response, said in feigned ignorance and apology: "oh, i'm SO sorry. i thought this was the 1-16 item express line". this response was made all the worse by the very fact that there exists not one 1-16 item express line in the entire store. in my world, one is required to conscientiously count the number of items prior to entering an express line, so as to ensure absolute propriety with the rules of "supermarket efficiency" (an oxy-moron, i recognise, at any Dominion). i believe Christine said it best: "there is a special place in hell for people like this."

other regular occurrences include:

people who clog the doorways of the subway, attempting to act oblivious (most use the device of headphones to "excuse" their intentional ignorance) to the fact that people are trying to get on and off the train at each station. this is especially problematic on the Skytrain in Vancouver, but Toronto is by no means immune from such villains.

people who see fit to order coffee beans, ground for a variety of coffee makers, paid for with a credit card, during the morning rush.

people who spend more than 30 seconds at the coffee condiment stand during the morning rush. this is not the place to strike up conversation. more importantly, this is not the place to decide how you like your coffee. it violates all rules of morning coffee-etiquette to: add a little sugar; stir; sip; add a little more sugar; stir; sip; add some cream; stir; sip; add some more cream and a tad more sugar; stir; sip. if you are unable to know with absolute precision in 30 seconds how to dress that perfect coffee, you do not deserve such perfection.

pennies.

pedestrians who continue to cross the street while emergency vehicles attempt to race through with lights ablaze and sirens aloud.

slow walkers.

the irony does not escape me that, by far, the most of my pet peeves surround a desire for efficiency. especially during the morning rush, i'm never really in a "rush" to be anywhere. i never have to be at work at a specified time, a liberty which both my office-mate and i advantage to the snickerings of our colleagues. despite the absence of rush "proper", i nevertheless tingle.

the most pervasive of all my pet peeves would have to be the lids offered by starbucks to cover their coffee cups. you see, they have a little hole in the lid. they offer no choice of a hole-less lid. as a result, each morning finds me cursing the dripping of scalding coffee on my poor hand.

i always assumed this latter pet peeve was not truly a pet peeve, but rather a frustration shared by all. on this assumption, i thought nothing of sharing my outrage with friends one evening, a number of years back. the response burned more than the cumulative mornings of driplets.

"perhaps the problem lies not in the lid, but in the carrier of the cup."

falling-back

2005-10-21T23:53:00.000-04:00

next weekend marks the moment when we gain back that hour we lost in the spring. i never really notice losing that hour (at least, in a temporal sense), so it simply has the feel of an extra hour, unaccounted.

it's a blessing for so many reasons. i live my life always hoping for just one more hour: of sleep; to listen; to think; to sing; to laugh; to talk; to read; to eat; to live.

at the same time, the coming hour brings an end to something important. the early darkness and the chill in the air, both increasing day by day - the weeks preceding the change carry an atmosphere of reflection on the months past.

the past five months have been memorable, to say the least.

i spent 2 months in vancouver with my sister, her family, my Trese and some wonderful friends. i was "Called to the Bar". i said farewell to Ottawa. i travelled Ireland in spectacular company and music. i saw Van Morrison, in concert. i spent time with my "east coast family", in Upper Canada. i moved to Toronto. i began a new job, and met the most phenomenal colleagues one could ever hope to pray for. my heart warmed to someone, dear to my soul, for the second time. i spent hours in laughter and love with my family and friends. i settled back into comforting routine with the Christines. i said good-bye to an idea that always made me smile, and i cried. i felt at home in Halifax in just one day. "birthday-weekend" was spent in haunted luxury on Prince Edward Island. i celebrated my last thanksgiving at "home".

as i fall-back into the past, the approaching hour simultaneously begs preparation for the coming winter. as if in habit, the extra blankets came out of the closet this evening.

a red herring ... erm, chicken?

2005-10-16T15:34:00.000-04:00

more and more, i'm paranoid about what i put in my mouth.

i blame it on the media (and in no way on my gross susceptibility to their messages).

i find i'm now no longer anxious about just the end product. i'm now terrified at the idea of a global pandemic caused by our inability to properly raise and slaughter chickens, simply so that we can enjoy a McChicken (complete with a medium drink and medium fries) for under $5 (on wednesdays).

yes, i've keenly and closely been tracking the avian flu, more properly known as H5N1. reading the paper this afternoon, i learned that H5N1 has now reached Europe

i guess it was only a matter of time. birds of a feather do, afterall, flock together.

the concern? while the current (known) strains of H5N1 remain primarily among bird populations, there have been almost one hundred cases of bird-human transmission.

the greater concern? H5N1 mutates rapidly. while there have been no reported cases of human-human transmission, mutation to this extent could have drastic and pandemic effect.

the greatest concern? the World Health Organization warns that nothing can be done to stop the global spread of a pandemic. proper preparation, however, can reduce its impact and death-toll.

the "experts" tell us that we're "overdue" for a pandemic. that the "pandemic clock" is tick-tick-ticking away, and that we have no idea what time it is. that "pandemics" are most likely to find their viral/biological roots in areas of East Asia.

while this all may be true, we should remember that Mother Nature is one smart mother-fucker. determined to return human population to the days of bio-equilibrium, i fear her use of the oldest military strategy in the book: create a viable distraction, such that the enemy diverts all resources in that direction; attack; and conquer.

so haunted was i by this possibility, i needed some cheering up. a few moments later, i found myself standing at my weekend starbucks, waiting for my cute weekend Barista to serve me a frothy, milky latte.

Gael me softly, Gael me sweet.

2005-10-15T01:39:00.000-04:00

is it just me? or is Gael Garcia Bernal the most enchantingly beautiful person on the face of this earth?

i've never been much for "celebrity crushes". but i'm willing to accept that i cannot move my eyes away from his face. there is something ever so drawing.

i didn't quite realise this until the other night.

i sat down to watch "The Motorcycle Diaries", for the second time. the first time, i had no idea what was going on. it wasn't until the second viewing that i realised why.

the film is in Spanish, and i have only ever viewed it with English subtitles (since i cannot understand Spanish).

after second viewing, i *still* had no idea what was going on. the reason - i don't read the subtitles. i cannot take my eyes away from him whenever he is on the screen. the only thing i really understand are those scenes that take place in his absence; a mere few in the entire film.

what do you do a green light?

2005-10-11T23:01:00.000-04:00

many years back, the European Union passed a law requiring that all exit signs be in the colour green, as opposed to the more familiar colour red. the reasoning is relatively simple. to the vast majority of people (occasionally, my sister excluded), red means STOP and green means GO. in the frenzy of an emergency, the last thing we want is our psychological tendencies getting more the better of us, to danger and peril.

when i lived in Germany, i recall being, at first, confused by the little green signs depicting a sprinting man heading in the direction a rectangle. so foreign to me were these signs, that i had to ask a friend why they appeared over each and every emergency exit. arguing in German with a stranger about whether i had seen his white hoody in the area from whence i just trotted? no problem. understanding the blatanly obvious? now this was just too much for my cemented North American brain to comprehend.

coming back into the city yesterday, i found myself thinking about the wise utility of the green exit sign. so much so, that the very first thing i did upon my return was google the "green exit sign".

not only am i completely sold; i am mystified that i've lived this long.

the very first result was a website entitled: The Safest Emergency EXIT Signs Are Green

fascinating, and equally terrifying.

which makes me wonder: why does North America, the harem of litigation, hold tight to archaic, useless and deadly tradition? the 2nd Amendment, the imperial system of measurement ... and now this?

the time has come. all ye gun, mile and, now, fire-fearing Canadians must answer this call to arms. grab an oar and meet me at the 49th. dig and dig, row and row. en route to the continent of Europe. think of the children.

for the sake of my sister, i must find some form of compromise. on at least one occasion (i only know of one), she vigourously maintained that one stops at a green light.

try this one on for size. ask someone to spell the word "shop". then ask: "what do you do at a green light?"

apparently, not.

2005-10-09T11:42:00.000-04:00

too funny.

according to the Globe and Mail's "hot/not" list (8 October 2005), the Chief Justice of Canada is definitely not hot:

"The Chief Justice's speech to a fundraising gala at the War Museum this week was so boring that it prompted hilarious BlackBerry traffic between some of the 400 politicians and others in the audience.

"'The next time a time a speech starts with the BNA Act, run!' was one message being sent around. 'This is the War Museum, can we tunnel out?' was another. Or, 'Can we start up the tanks?' Lawyers would have loved the speech, apparently."

definitely not me.

the only thing worse; being victimised by the incorrect use of "between".

it's a very easy rule. things exist between two things, while others exist among more than two.

happy thanksgiving!

it's not just the bananas

2005-10-08T15:30:00.000-04:00

i love Thanksgiving. it's my favourite holiday, and i especially love spending this weekend with my parents, in the forest. with the air and the colours, the company and home-cooking, my thanks come without effort.

sadly, this will be my last Thanksgiving in the forest. for those who do not know, my parents will be moving to Vancouver in the spring. this entails the selling of the forest-abode and most all its belongings.

today, my parents are hosting round two of the garage/moving sale. having missed round one, i felt the need to psychologically prepare for my presence at round two. last night, long after my parents went to sleep, i prowled around the house taking note of all those things i never really notice anymore. (it wasn't until this morning that i discovered the fruitlessness of my action. being the "super-prepared" that they are, all things for sale in round two have been neatly organised on tables in the garage for two weeks.)

i noticed the banana-tree, and a smile leapt to my face. for many years now, this small little device has brought joy and laughter to my friend, Christine, and i.

two houses (both alike in dignity), our parents share an interest in buying oddly fascinating kitchen accessories. the banana-tree, present in both our parents' kitchens since the mid-1990s, is at the high end of odd and fascinating. simply described, this device allows one to hang a bunch of bananas on a little hook. say good-bye to lying the precious fruit on its side, unless you're down to the very last one (a fatal flaw in the design of the banana tree that appears to have been overlooked).

continually confused by the purchase of the banana-tree, Christine once asked my mum about its purpose. with not a hint of sarcasm in her eyes, my mum responded:

"it fools the bananas in to thinking they're still on the tree. it keeps them fresher, longer!"

is it just the bananas that are fooled?

as i write these words, i'm eating what may very well be my last banana-tree-banana. is it just me, or do they always taste better than the ones i have at home?

no offence, but i have created a 'blog

2005-10-07T23:55:00.000-04:00

and so it goes, i have created a 'blog.

never ever did i think i would ever do such a thing. in fact, while spending the requisite two or three hours a week reading other people's 'blogs, i invariably remark: "who has the time?"

not so very long ago, each day would begin with a staggering display of dependency: starbucks; and a review of the 'blog of the ex (who i've never met) of a friend (who has never dated the ex as long as we've known each other). five or six (other) 'blogs later, i'd be thirsty for another starbucks. it wasn't until i found myself obsessively refreshing Gillian Anderson's 'blog every 15 seconds, that i realised i might have a problem. she posts but once a month or two.

as methadone is to heroin, why not substitute one addiction with an(related)other?

in all honestly, i must give credit where due. during both an email conversation and today's afternoon jaunt to starbucks, i politely informed my co-worker that i was overdue for and anxiously awaiting her next post. i even provided her with a topic, inspired by the following comment made in response to her most recent post: "I will also take the opportunity to mention that although mildly moody, you are the cutest, kindest, happiest person I have ever met. Ever. In the whole world. Ever."

what fools people into misbelieving the effect of an insult when coupled with a phrase of suggestive immunity?

"no offence, but you bore me to tears"

what does the offence-or expect in response?

"oh, none taken whatsoever" ??

i think not. but when offence is taken, the offence-or gets offended.

"but i said 'no offence'!"

lesson learned: the phrase "no offense" (nor any other phrase of similar purpose) does not immunise the rest of the sentence. if you are offensive or insulting, you are offensive or insulting, full-stop.

after rattling on about this proposed topic to my co-worker, she prodded me to create a 'blog (this wasn't the first time). and that was how i spent the rest of a friday afternoon before a long weekend.

me talk pretty one day

this week in pictures ...

how effin' dangerous do i look?

do you see a difference?

in other news ...

some pics of pride

mood elevators

No hablo ...

gawd, they're cute

it's going to be a long summer ...

lunch

so, apparently i was home-schooled

a follow-up

and the embers never fade ...

my very first microwave

"ghetto that"

my work is so pretty in the spring :)

some of my favourites

jet-lagged

le pont

penguins

*addendum*

"the studious silence of the library ... tranquil brightness"

because i promised

today's special

aloha!

the blind leading the blind?

protest

good marketing, gone wrong

alignment

farewell to the 'blair witch'

some things never change

cyclonic effect

the gods must be crazy

any suggestions?

¿Se va por aquí a Santiago de Compostela?

a sunday-evening thought

The Way I See It #53

"and so it goes"

*addendum*

"that's what friends are for"

"taking it on faith"

kleenex, toilet paper and baby carrots

and the winner is ...

(in)appropriate?

the most beautiful thing he ever wrote:

"it snows only once in our dreams"

juggles away ...

do you believe in magic?

Craigie

sometimes i feel like a nut ...

tension relieved, not spilled.

random

a whole new level

the peeve, within the peeved

falling-back

a red herring ... erm, chicken?

Gael me softly, Gael me sweet.

what do you do a green light?

apparently, not.

it's not just the bananas

no offence, but i have created a 'blog

addendum

addendum